The last telegram!

On 13th June, I read the clever headline, “Telegram serious, start immediately”, ironically enough on the web edition of the Calcutta daily called “The Telegraph”.

Till that day, the words “taar” and “telegram” had never entered my world except for in the old anecdotes told by my grandparents. This was the medium in which they had received some of the best and worst news of their life. Similarly, in so many old novels, the telegram bearer always draws out a very wide range of emotions. It struck me that me and my friends were going to be a generation which shall miss out on those feelings and this tremendous medium of communication that had ushered in the information revolution of its time.

And so my mind was made up, I shall send a telegram before the service breathed its last in India.

Where do I begin?

Being an amateur philatelist, I knew of the telegram service’s existence but having twitter, whatsapp, facebook messenger and much more on my android phone, I never had to use the service ever before. Since in the stories I had heard that the postmen delivered these telegrams I turned up at the post office looking to send a telegraph, only to be told (very curtly) that the post I was at didn’t handle telegrams since the Central Telegraph Office was in the vicinity.

The Central Telegraph Office is a building that I had walked past every single day in that week, but ignored. It housed BSNL offices and it was there I could send a telegram from. This is because in the year 1994, BSNL took over the telegram system from the post but in some form of weird symbiosis, apparently still depends on them for the last step of delivery as far as I can tell.

As I entered the office, I had to look around and ask a couple of times, for telegram services are now manned by a single counter while all the other counters are dedicated to other services. Why BSNL needs counters and posters advertising its mobile services in MUMBAI is kind of beyond me but I didn’t enquire much and headed for the telegram counter. There I first faced these two signs -

 

The image on the left gives standard telegram phrase codes. These phrase charts are available with all the offices and using them, a long standard phrase can be sent for minimum cost of telegram. The other image showed that my little fun telegram endeavour would have been much cheaper before April 2012 when the rates were increased from Rs. 1.50 to Rs. 28 as the minimum cost of a telegram.

However, regardless of the cost I had to send one before the service died out and I decided not to use a standard phrase so that I write a message of my own.

The Message

In the enthusiasm of finding out how to send a telegram, I had not had much time to decide what to send and to who and these were the questions that I faced as I took the form the person at the counter. The form was printed on paper so thin and old that it could very well have been from the 1800s. Since it was no festive occasion and since I had neither good nor bad news to spread, I decided to send a congratulatory message to my friend Mr. GP* who had just been offered an internship at a reputed company.
* -See this older post to read about how we sampled the food at the Good Luck Cafe, the only Mumbai eatery which serves Emu meat.

Why telegram is the forefather of telephone!

Twitter has kept the awkward phrasing spirit of telegram alive today by virtue of its character limit. In the older telegram technology the limit is of words since each word after the first few costs extra. PM Nehru’s famous diplomatic telegram to PM Atlee in 1947 about Kashmir, is believed to be long by telegram standards and even that consists only of 230 words. (You can see the transcript here)

I believed that for an innocent first timer I had done well. I thought I had written a 22 word telegram (or 24 words with my name) which would cost me the minimum charge of Rs. 28 since that was the cost for the first 30 words.

That unfortunately familiar feeling of reading the telephone bill and finding that you have to pay for absurd Value-Added-Services that you don’t need or you never knew were chargeable in the first place, it hit me when the person at the counter asked me to fork out Rs. 35 though I was confident of having stuck to 30 words. Apparently I had to pay for the words in the address though nobody had bothered to tell that.

It was then that I could accept that telegram is indeed the predecessor and ancestor of the telephone. There is absolutely nothing defines telephone service providers as much as hidden and unexpected charges do.

The Delivery

Shockingly enough, there was no same day delivery inspite of the fact that I was sending a telegram within the city with the destination no more than 20-30 km away. When it finally arrived 3 days later, Mr. GP had a good laugh and sent me this photograph below which shows that it arrived at the Andheri Telegraph office within 3 hours but they somehow took 3 days to deliver it. I have heard from others that apparently more serious messages especially carrying the news of any death are delivered faster.

Interestingly enough, perhaps in order to ensure that the traditional mystery and enigma surrounding the technology is not lost, the message came with lines of random text at the bottom below the words.

Though the delivery delay was slightly miffing, I enjoyed the experience of sending a telegram before the service closed down for good.

The last telegram in India will be sent on 14th July and the service has already been long dead in most of the countries around the world. So, if you want to take benefit of this old time tech to send something to your friend, you just have one week left!

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Transparency lesson from the past!

Interning at an office in South Bombay has meant that I found time to and had to go to several colonial buildings including the Bombay High Court, the Esplanade Centre of Magistrates’ Courts, the Central Telegraph Office and the Victoria Terminus (now – CST).

I noticed a common feature in these beautiful public buildings built in the late 1800s or early 1900s. To ensure transparency, these buildings carry a great many details on their prominently displayed plaques. These plaques have details of not only when was the building sanctioned and who built it but also about the chief designers, engineers and most importantly the difference between the estimated and final costs of the project.

Take a look at this plaque at the Central Telegraph Office*.

* – The image says General Post Office because it was built as the GPO but later on  when the present GPO building was built it was made the Central Telegraph Office.

The very detailed plaque above shows that the massive building was completed in just about three years from 1869 to 1872 and that the actual cost of ₨. 5,94,200 was actually about five thousand rupees lesser than the sanctioned cost of ₨. 5,99,992.

This plaque is infact a tool of accountability and transparency. The name of the architect along with the names of those who were incharge of the construction is out there literally etched in stone for everyone to see. 

Another example of such a plaque is the image below (taken from http://www.greatmirror.com) which I believe is of the building presently housing the Maharashtra Archives.

 

Let’s bring back this practice…

This practice of elaborate plaques has been almost completely abandoned today. I don’t remember seeing any post-independence building or structure of which so many details including the name of the architect and the cost of construction is available on the structure itself. While plaques still exist they tend to only highlight the names of the so called VIPs who inaugurated it.

With several infrastructure projects and public buildings in Bombay (and other parts of India as well) being way behind schedule and extremely over budget, this could be an effective way to put pressure on contractors to finish on time an within budget because if the don’t, their shortcomings would be on display for the world to see, for ages to come. It is also a transparency mechanism since when the people see how many taxpayers’ rupees were spent on a particular building or project they would be able to gauge for themselves if it was money well spent.

In our hurry to move forward and progress, it is not really wise to leave behind the wisdom of the past!

Do comment and let me know if you have ever seen in Bombay,a modern building plaque that states anything apart from the name of the VIP or VVIP who inaugurated it!

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Emu Kheema! Good Luck Cafe - Review

A Vegetarian is a person who doesn’t eat meat and a Non-Vegetarian is a person who does. That is how I see it. I can never understand people who claim to love or require a hefty quantity of meat every week but still balk at the idea of having anything except chicken and mutton. As for me, if there is something exotic, I want to try it!

Literally months having passed since I had snake meat soup in Taiwan, when Mr. GP told me that Emu meat is now available in Mumbai I had to have it! So on one overcast Saturday evening, Mr. GP and I headed to the old Iranian Good Luck Cafe in Bandra West (Mumbai). The place is pretty easy to find and only a short autorikshaw ride away from the Bandra station. Mehboob studio opposite the cafe is a well known landmark in the area.

The Emu !
We wasted no time and immediately ordered Emu Kheema which was no surprise at all and we were served in a jiffy. Apart from being slightly lighter in colour it looked no different than regular mutton kheema and we were disappointed moments later to find out that it tasted the same too! On take the first few bites we both thought it might just be mutton but soon we realised that it leaves a different aftertaste and has a stronger smell. However, Kheema seems to be a poor choice of dish to exhibit the qualities of this meat unless the point being made was that it isn't really very different from mutton because all in all we didn’t feel like we were having something different and exotic.

Chicken Biryani !
Though the Rs. 100 emu kheema is more costly than a usual plate of kheema, the quantity is nowhere enough to be filling for anybody and we went on to order the Chicken Tikka Biryani since the cafe does not offer any other emu meat dishes. The Chicken Biryani was rather satisfying, fragrant and the chikken tikka in it weren’t burnt or overdone in anyway. It was enjoyable enough but I have tendency to get annoyed with places that do not serve raita along with the Biryani by default. Also, as Mr. GP rightly pointed out to me, the Biryani was slightly less spicy than it is at other eateries and we would have enjoyed more, a slightly spicier version.

Irani Chai !
Any true Mumbaikar knows that it is blasphemy to leave an Iranian Cafe without having the chai so we ordered “broom maska and chai” as the last course in our dinner. They served us ‘bun maska’ (on being asked they claimed kadak pav is available only in the mornings) and tea in paper cups! Why they serve tea in paper cups to customers dining inside the restaurant is beyond me but the quality made up for the lack of presentation and I had another cup before leaving.



The Emus are from Gujarat !
Right outside the cafe is this huge board advertising the main attraction, “Emu Kheema”. The claim is that Emu meat is 98% fat free and thus healthier than other meats. Interestingly enough, it is advertised as ‘red meat’, and not ‘poultry’ as I imagined it would be. On talking to the person at the counter, I learnt that their supplier runs an emu farm with 40000 birds in Gujarat! Gujarat, the land of vegetarianism of all places. Most of the meat is sent abroad and very little to Mumbai I was told. He mentioned about it being expensive at Rs. 600 a kilo for him perhaps as an explanation for the tiny quantity they serve. I hope some Infocity entrepreneur, Gandhinagar makes good use of this locally available meat to relieve the craving of meat hungry GNLUites.

The cafe is very clean, spacious, well lit and modern looking meaning that it is more of a middle range restaurant than the stereo typical Irani Cafe in Mumbai. So if you are looking for that kind of rickety wooden seating then this is not it. We saw at least three four families who had come for dinner apart from the usual Irani cafe crowd of men looking for special chai.

There were many more tasty looking items (such as Chicken Shawarma) on the Good Luck Cafe menu that we didn’t try. At the end of the day, despite the underwhelming emu, it was a satisfying meal which cost us less than Rs. 200 per head. I wouldn’t go there again or recommend anyone to go there just for the emu unless the come up with items like emu tikka which shall let us appreciate the meat better than kheema.

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Top 5 Constitution Articles that baffle me (and probably you!)

It is trend. In first semester when I was supposed to be studying Torts, I used to feel like reading Public International Law. Then when I was doing a PIL moot I felt like reading landmark Constitutional Law judgements. When it was the deadline for moot memo submission neared, I spent a great amount of time reading about a by-election in Singapore and other random things. Tonight, when I am supposed to be reading WTO Panel reports and other material for, I am actually flipping through a (borrowed) Constitution Bare Act.

I know, I should totally be looking through Seervai and other treatises on Constitution to find out true intention behind the introduction of the following Articles in the Constitution of India but then blogging about this is easier. Here are the Articles that baffle and hopefully, someone can enlighten.

• Article 290A

  A sum of forty-six lakhs and fifty thousands rupees shall be charged on, and paid out of the Consolidated Fund of the State of Kerala every year to the Travancore Devaswom Fund; and a sum of thirteen lakhs and fifty thousand rupees shall be charged on, and paid out of the Consolidated Fund of the State of Tamil Nadu, every year to the Devaswom Fund established in that State for the maintenance of Hindu temples and shrines in the territories transferred to that State on the 1st day of November, 1956, from the State of Travancore-Cochin.

  Transferring taxpayer funds to temples directly? What happened to being a secular republic? What is it all about? I am guessing it is some concession made to princely ruler of Travancore to get him to accede to the Union but it is still just absurd. Why Indira Gandhi didn’t get rid of this along with the Privy Purses is beyond me.
• Article 371E

  Parliament may by law provide for the establishment of a University in the State of Andhra Pradesh

  Hello dear MPs! Didn’t it occur to you that you could directly pass an Act to that effect rather than making a provision in the constitution? I suspect they were just being lazy and instead of actually drafting a law (which presumably shall be a very long, detailed act), they just threw in a one liner into the Constitution via the 32nd Amendment.
  If constitution articles have feelings, this one must be feeling pointedly neglected and ignored especially since several volumes of books, endless debates and even agitations have taken place over its nearby neighbour, Article 370, while nobody cares about this one.
• Article 273
  (1) There shall be charged on the Consolidated Fund of India in each year as grants-in-  aid of the revenues of the States of Assam, Bihar, Orissa and West Bengal, in lieu of assignment of any share of the net proceeds in each year of export duty on jute and jute products to those States, such sums as may be prescribed.(2) The sums so prescribed shall continue to be charged on the Consolidated Fund of India so long as any export duty on jute or jute products continues to be levied by the Government of India or until the expiration of ten years from the commencement of this Constitution whichever is earlier.(3) In this article, the expression "prescribed" has the same meaning as in article 270.

Firstly, I don’t really understand the purpose behind having this provision at all. Secondly, what is the status now? Is it now totally redundant since ten years have long passed? Why hasn’t any one of the hundred Constitutional Amendments repealed it?

The Constituent Assembly also used to sit as the unicameral provisional parliament, this is probably a result of one of the days when they were confused about which capacity they were sitting in! This is far from a fundamental issue and could have easily been dealt with without having an Article in the Constitution.

 

• Article 366

Being used to finding definition clauses in the first couple of sections of any Act, I was stunned when I first saw that the Constitution has more than one Article having marginal note ‘definitions’. This is the most generic definitions Article in the Constitution and included in the 30+ clauses of the Articles are gems like -

(3) "Article" means an article of this Constitution;(16) "Part" means a Part of this Constitution;(23) "Schedule" means a Schedule to this Constitution;

• Article 393

This Constitution may be called the Constitution of India.

393! Did you see that? 393! Undoubtedly the most simple Article, why is it not Article #1? Why leave it till much much later?

 

 Much has been said about our Constitution being the longest in the world. I do largely agree with view that there is nothing wrong with having a long constitution if it helps to make clear the provisions. However, that said, it is ridiculous how amendments have burdened the constitution with redundant and extremely context specific Articles which have no general implication.

The word ‘Constitution’ by itself gives the impression to every person that it is likely to be a document containing the most fundamental principles of governance rather than a collection of random provisions inserted to suit the need of the government and then forgotten.

There is one clause which is so specific that it applies only to one particular1987 proclamation of emergency due to breakdown in constitutional machinery of the state in Punjab.

It is high time that the constitution be rid of the many absurd, redundant provisions! I suggest that the parliament consider a “Constitutional clean up Amendment”!

If nothing else, a smaller constitution shall mean cheaper bare acts and make the law students happy! :P

Image of the Constituent Assembly is from the Wikimedia Commons.
Link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Indian_Constituent_Assembly.JPG 

Stairs…

“In matters of climbing long staircases, how many stairs there are is not as important as how strong a will you have!”
― Mehmet Murat Ildan

 

 

Hope to revive this blog from this Christmas Day! :)

Also, as you may have noticed, I have started using Instagram!

Merry Christmas!